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New Year, New Me…Really, What Are You Changing???

New Year, New Me…Really, What Are You Changing???

Every year we hear the “New year, new me”, “This year is my year” spill from the same ole people, doing the same ole things. What are you changing and how are you planning to make these things happen. I must admit, when I was younger I used to say this same spill and didn’t

Arnya T.M. Davis.

Every year we hear the “New year, new me”, “This year is my year” spill from the same ole people, doing the same ole things. What are you changing and how are you planning to make these things happen. I must admit, when I was younger I used to say this same spill and didn’t change a thing, but the year. After a while you must desire more, well I did. The changing of the year, brings on newness and a hope to have a better year than you had the year previous. Here are some things you can do to not just say, “New year, new me” but to actually become this new person.

 

  1. Take an evaluation of the year and yourself: What do you want to change about you, your career, or your life or do differently this year than you did the previous one. What needs to change. Take a serious look, without the rose-colored glasses. Be honest with yourself and state the things that needs work. Write them down. Don’t forget to pray while taking inventory of yourself. Ask God to open your eyes to what needs to be changed.
  2. Think and brainstorm on purpose: After deciding what needs to change, you must know what the change looks like. Pray! There is a quote that I love, “I never knew what I wanted to do, but I always knew the woman I wanted to be.” Diane von Furstenberg. You may have an idea of what you want to change -let’s say it is your career, but you don’t exactly know what it is you want to do. You may see someone or many people, and decide you want to be a collection of them, or do what they are doing. I can remember as a youth, I knew I wanted to be a woman of statue, a business woman, a woman of wisdom and at the same time, someone people felt safe to talk to. When I decided, I needed a change, I looked at what I was doing and asked myself, are these the same things the woman I wanted to be would do? Are these the things the woman I wanted to be would say? Am I carrying myself the same way that this “woman” that I had made up my mind I wanted to be, would carry herself? It was not based on one particular woman but several I had encountered, along with the type of woman I wished I had in my life at the time. It is ok to admire and want to be like someone. Well, I don’t think there is a problem with it, as long as you never lose your authenticity in the process. Go for it!
  3. Create a plan: Now that you know a change is needed, because you keep saying a new you, right? Then you brainstormed on purpose, finding out what your end result should look like after the change has taken place. Now it is time to plan. Anything anyone has set out to do, started with a plan. This does not mean that your plan will not change during the process, but at least you have an outline. A plan is like a road map to get to where you are trying to go. If you don’t know what it looks like when you get where you are trying to go, how do you know when you have reached it. Plan, plan, and plan some more. Weigh your pros and cons and keep going.
  4. Don’t be afraid to change course: There are times when we plan things then we realize in the middle of it, that it is not really what we want. Don’t be afraid to change your course of action. Plans should be created in pencil, that way you are able to erase and adjust. You may find a better route to take and that is fine, as long as your end goal is a changed person. I can remember there was a college I really wanted to receive my undergrad from. I really, really, really, yes all of those really’s wanted to graduate from this college. The end result was an undergraduate degree, BUT I had to change course and attend a different college. I graduated sooner, which meant I spent less money, with the same degree. You may have your heart set on doing it one way; that is ok. Just as a GPS at times, take you down another route, your plan may also.
  5. Execute your plan. This should have been #4, oh well. Change is hard and very unfamiliar, which makes it scary. I myself know this all too well. Take a running start and jump into it! Your plan should be a detailed list of how you will go from one step to the other. Keep going. It will seem hard but your hard work will pay off. Stay consistent in your actions.
  6. Ignore the peanut gallery: Everyone always have something to say. Don’t that just work on your nerves? Good thing this change is not about them. It is about you and the fact that you see there was a need for a change. Whew! People are going to say are you acting different. Say thank you. People will push your buttons to make you react the way you used to, ignore them. You may have to even change the company that you keep, because they were more conducive to your old person. You need people around you that will be an allied in this new stage of your life. That does not mean to let go everyone. What I am saying is, everyone won’t be happy for this newness and they will not speak life into you. They will even try to get you to change your mind and speak against everything you are doing. Some will be very well meaning. If you know that you have prayed and this is the path that you are to be on, do not let others shake you. Some things that I feel are very sacred, I don’t share. If I do share, it is with a very few. People will have you second guessing the right decision, because they are uncomfortable with your change. A favorite quote from me, “People don’t want you to change because they need you to be a certain person for them”.
  7. Grow: As you are executing your plan, allow your growth. You will start to see the change within. You will be the first to notice. Things that you used to like, you won’t like anymore. I can attest to this. Honestly, places that you used to love going, you won’t want to go anymore. You will gain new desires. This is ok. Take those that are supposed to still be on your journey with you. They will learn somethings also. Or they were needing someone to be bold enough to illustrate change so they can be who they were designed to be.
  8. Celebrate: Celebrate your change. Remember, New Year, New You!! If the new you were to lose weight, go on a shopping spree. Maybe it was to start saving money better, celebrate by dining in with your favorite meals. Do something to celebrate what it was that you wanted to change. Sometimes the change is just us as a person. Celebrate the small victories as well as the big victories. If your change was your attitude, hey do a little dance when you don’t tell someone off when they come at you in the incorrect way. Check your reaction and how you are no so short tempered anymore. *Wink*
  9. Decide on what is next: We are forever growing. I call myself a student of life. I am always wanting to change something up or learn something new. Go for it! Don’t just make a change and that is it. No, you are on a roll now. Continue with this! Don’t become a know it all on change though. We all hate those people that make some changes and now they are the authority on life- always down your throat telling you how you what you are doing wrong. If people come to you wanting help, help. If you see where something can be done differently, don’t be so annoying with your suggestion. Ease it in.
  10. Let’s start planning: You don’t have to start at the beginning of the calendar year to take inventory of yourself and the things you need to change. You don’t have to finish 1 plan before you start another. Become a student of life, always wanting to be your best self. Presenting your best self gives you more confidence and a sense of purpose. You are aware of what needs to happen and how you will achieve it. Remember many people will not understand your growth and that is fine. Don’t stop because it hurts someone’s feelings. Jay-Z says it best, “Everybody looks at you strange. They say you changed. Like you worked that hard to stay the same.”

 

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