Being Superwoman

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What do you call a woman that truly does it all? Cooks. Cleans. Takes damn good care of her kids. Works a forty plus hour work week. Plus she’s always there for her family and friends whenever they need her, no questions asked.  In a relationship, she’s the rock that holds it all together, encouraging her man to be the best version of himself that he can be.  If single, she’s so focused on making a better life for herself and her children that she barely has time to date. Hell, she barely has time for herself.

Who is this woman?  And how does she make time to do everything, and do it right? She’s the strong friend.  The reliable coworker.  The independent hardworking mother.

Superwoman.

If this isn’t you, I bet you know someone that fits this description.  Everything and everyone comes before her.  She spends her time making sure that everything and everyone around her is taken care of.  People will look at her and assume she has it all together.

And they couldn’t be more wrong.

The problem with being a real, live Superwoman is that everyone automatically thinks that we are always okay. Any problem that we have, we’ll come to a solution on our own because… well, because that’s what we do!  Any curves life throws at us, we encounter with one of our own.  We’ve taken life’s struggles on and won so many times that it never occurs to anyone that we are tired too.  After all, how could the anchor that holds everyone else down ever have a weak moment?

The truth is, we have plenty of weak moments.  We’re just better at disguising them as others.  We don’t come through life’s lessons unscathed at all; we have war wounds the same as anyone else.  It’s the way we deal with them that differentiates us from the victims.  A real life Superwoman is a survivor and proud of it.  We fall down seven times, get up eight.  Defeat is not an option for us.

However, that does not mean that we don’t need the same support we give so freely to everyone else.  We’re so busy concerned with everyone else and making sure they’re cool, people tend to forget to ask us how we are.

So if you know a Superwoman, remember that her smile hides a lot.  Just because she’s smiling doesn’t mean that the weight of the world is on her shoulders. Ask her how she’s doing.  Offer to take the kids for a few hours so she can get a much-needed break.  Invite her over for dinner; give her a night off from having to cook.  Set up a game night, include a few cocktails so she can laugh, relax and let her hair down.

And if you are the Superwoman, like myself, remember that taking care of yourself and putting you first at times isn’t a bad thing.  This is a lesson that I’m still learning.

-Tiana Grover

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