After recently co-writing Let’s Be Real Society’s syndicated article describing what it is like to live with both anxiety and depression, I hit a bout of depression. To be honest, I get depressed everyday around 1pm and I don’t know why, but the worst periods of my depression are when I wake up not wanting to get up and do my daily activities, when the world seems really colorless. On top of that, I’ve developed a bit of an anger problem, so I realized I had to get serious about my issues and find a way to conquer them before they conquered me.
That is how I came about Shelah Marie’s Meditation Mixtape while scrolling down my Instagram timeline. Seeing the words “meditation” and “mixtape” together really intrigued me, because I didn’t know what to expect, but from the minute I heard Shelah’s voice and listened as she shares who this mixtape is for “me, you, your mama and your cousin too, for the “meditatonally-challenged”; for the social media addicted; for the “Love and Hip Hop watching…” I was like yasss!
Her voice is clear and soft, but strong. To me she sounds like she is in control and her voice pulls you in. I’ve always felt like something was missing when I meditated but if you know me, something is always missing. I’m restless, I go from one thing to the next, but Shelah Marie’s voice holds me steady. It’s calm.
I’ve noticed during those times I mentioned before, music always calms me down, but (and don’t judge me) I like trap music. Most meditation music doesn’t sound anything close. This mixtape doesn’t really either, but it has that affect and dope beats, especially the intro. She even mentions trap music lovers-yep!
Hearing Shelah’s story about her chronic anxiety and depression much like my own was symbolic to the stories of struggle to the glow up that I hear in trap music, and once again she’s connected with me. It’s like being at a party with no one you know then a beautiful person walks up and talks to you, and you are wondering “but why?” but then you discover a similarity in you both (common emotions are like joy and pain often unite people) and you allow them to take your hand and lead you into the crowd. That’s how I feel listening to this mixtape.
I now practice the four part breathing, though struggling. Now with much more focus I realize I struggle with meditation because I usually rush and expect. I am one of those who as Shelah described them “can’t stop thinking” due to my anxiety. With topics ranging from “daydreaming” to “work” to “fear”, more self realizations take place sometimes self checks as we float on with the perfect playlist carrying us to our destination.
I love everything about Shelah Marie’s “Meditation Mixtape”, while many African Americans are tapping into more conscious and holistic lifestyles, there’s isn’t much that speaks directly to and for us, so this mixtape is important. Be sure to grab your copy on http://www.soulstudywithshelah.com/meditation-mixtape/ or find it on iTunes or Apple Music.
Thank me later.