What do you do when a person has tried to destroy you? When it was as if they wanted to kill you; they wanted you not to live or be seen again. They wanted to see disgust when someone spoke your name. When someone is attacking you with hatred and words, isn’t that how it feels? It is a verbal beat down. But what do you do? Do you go back and charge against them, do you pray for their demise? Then that same person, comes to you for help? Do you talk about them, make them feel lower than low? Do you remind them about all of the hatred they had towards you and how they damaged your world? What does ONE really do? You stand and you forgive!


Forgiveness is so the key to being a Christian. Sometimes, we feel people are attacking us, but it is just our perception, or is it? Nevertheless, the Bible speaks of praying for that person, forgiving, and loving them in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. But how does one forgive when their heart is hurting because they are really in disbelief? What does that look like? It looks like a Christian.


What I have found is when I am praying for the situation, when I am praying to understand the why of the matter- if I pray to forgive that person, or to help that person, my heart daily starts to forgive and not hold that anger in as much as it did before. I feel better as I pray about it. I get a peace in my heart about the situation, and I am able to breathe through it, because I am NOT wanting to hold on to it as much as I did previously. See when people hurt me, I don’t know about you but I want to hold on to my anger, I want to STAY mad. I want to be PISSED, just so I can show them that I don’t need to talk to them or deal with them, so I can show them that they made me mad. What a joke! As I think about it, that person has gone on with their lives; they have moved on. In some cases, they don’t even know what they did to make me so mad.


Once, the Lord softens your heart, why not talk about it? Talk about it with an unbiased party. Someone you know will be able to give you a neutral opinion if you feel you are not ready to speak to that person. Pray to God on how to handle it from this place. I find you must consciously want to forgive.   You must make the decision in your mind that you want to let it go.


We must forgive ourselves. We all hold ourselves to a certain “honor”, so when someone hurts us, at times we are thinking, how did I let that happen? Why didn’t I see that coming? We must let that go as well. NOPE! This does not happen overnight. You cannot snap your fingers. We must walk through it, because people are watching us.


Believe it or not they are talking. “Hummm, let’s see how this “Christian” handles this”, or “she/he is always talking about God this and God that, let’s see what their God do with this”, or even, “he/she act like nothing is ever wrong, like they just don’t go through anything. I wanna see how they pull this off.” People look for the negative. They want to see you act out, why? Because they will have more to talk about. OUCH! I can admit, there have been times I didn’t do the Christian thing. I didn’t have a WWJD moment, because I was so hurt that I went off. Does that reflect anything on my God? Naw, because I knew it was not him that was within me at the time. I was operating ONLY in the flesh. To the outside world, they don’t see that and it ruins your testimony, your Praise report.

I’ve decided that on the road of forgiveness to do the following:

Pray about the situation, which leads to praying for that person

Talk to that person or an unbiased person

Forgive, that person, as well as myself

Respond in a Christian way

Don’t allow a person to make a mockery of you or your God!


-In the Wind

Arnya Martin Davis



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