Marriage, I Didn’t Sign Up for That!


Marriage is not only a union; marriage falls under several sub-categories.  Marriage consists of the following:

  1. Ministry
  2. Business deal
  3. Commitment
  4. Journey
  5. Hurt
  6. Loss
  7. Victory
  8. Hard work

Marriage is not to be entered into lightly nor should it be discarded like a used trash bag.  Yes, there are some situations that call for immediate departure that have extenuating circumstances, e.g. abuse of any sort and some others that should never be downplayed.  Excluding the obvious reasons for bailing out of marriage, is love enough to stay in a marriage?  Divorce is so common today and many times it’s for reasons such as someone wanting an upgrade, not willing to work out issues, family members interfering (many times because we pull them in) or someone thinking the grass is greener.  Does this mindset come from the strong influence that society has on individuals or has the value of marriage gone down?

I believe that it’s a combination of several things.  Marriage is hard work and that is why we must be sure that we marry the right person!  Once we have made those marriage vows, we have entered into a contract, and we agree to adhere to the guidelines of the contract.  We live in a microwave type society that wants everything to be done quickly and perfectly, no honoring or cherishing, only in health and that part about richer or poorer…go broke if you want to (sometimes things happen out of our control).  Being human and making mistakes are characteristics that we can’t escape and there are some things that are deal breakers, but for those things that are not necessarily deal breakers, do we call it quits?

Marriage is not perfect, and you have trials and tribulations throughout the marriage, but when you give up during a difficult time that you could have possibly worked through, then when do you experience the victories?  There can’t possibly be any victories without going through some trials, some wars and some hardships.  Love is an integral part of a marriage but it’s definitely not the only part and to some, it’s not even the most important part but it MUST be included.  Influences from society, television and unfortunately the relationships that we have seen throughout our lives have an impact on the way we behave in our own marriages.  In closing, if you’re not willing to enter into a binding contract that may not go exactly as you planned it and you haven’t packed your survival gear, then don’t waste your time or anyone else’s.

Anika Ennett Martin


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