Loving you doesn’t mean that I have to lose my identity! How many times have you found yourself in a relationship and the “honeymoon” stage had everything looking so wonderful as cupid’s arrows shot into your heart? However, as time went on the things that were cute are no longer cute and they are draining the life out of you. I’ve been in relationships where I did everything that I could to please a man, such as give up on my goals, live to help him achieve his goals and ended up losing my identity. In love we do make sacrifices but they shouldn’t cost you the very purpose that you were put on this earth for. Everyone has a specific job or purpose to fulfill in this world and no one else can do what you were put here to do.
The behavior that is described above is not healthy and can lead to other negative behaviors such as resentment and rebellion. I remember in one specific relationship, it was as if someone poured ice water on me because I realized that I was trying to find my self-worth and identity in a man. I realized at that moment that he wasn’t the problem, I was the problem and I needed to deal with the deficiencies within myself. A healthy relationship allows the both of you to bring greatness into the relationship, not losing your entire being in order to be with someone. If we sacrifice all of our dreams for the sake of a relationship, that would mean that one person is getting fed, while the other one is being starved to death. Compromise is a great method but you have to be careful in the things that you compromise because some things just aren’t up for debate.
In closing, being in a loving relationship should not require you to forget your dreams, goals or your purpose. In fact, it should be the coming together of two great sources that once combined, will create the extraordinary!
Anika Ennett (Martin)
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