So 2017 is fast approaching, and one of your top resolutions is shutting down the cookie and to wait for Mr. Right or at least for him to put a ring on it. While the idea seems easy enough, the actual action may cause some women pause and rethink this big decision. If you are already, single this may be easier than for a woman is who in a long term relationship and is used to giving up the cookie on a regular basis. You lucky ladies who are in a relationship may have many thoughts running rampant in the mind such as: how do I tell my lover that I’m shutting him down, or what if he leaves me, or what he seeks the nooky from another woman willing to give it up at the drop of a dime. These are all legitimate questions so understand that your emotions are warranted and every women who has thought of being celibate has had these cross roads to bare. On the other side for my ladies who are single and may or may not have a bootie call list, this may not be quite as challenging, because you only have yourself to think about. The decision for a single lady may be simply sliding that late night call to voicemail on your phone or if you care enough for the person, tell him your intentions and walk away with the cookie. Either way if your single or in a relationship, the person benefiting from celibacy is you and your sexual health, mental, and emotional well being, which should be at the top of the “me” list you created for 2017.
Being celibate is more that not having sex, it is about knowing your worth, and caring about your mental and emotional health, as well as your physical health. With so many diseases, it is such a risk to get between the sheets and totally feel safe these days and unless you have a careless attitude, the emotional effects can be a bit much as well. Putting aside the obvious, you are worth so much more than a bootie call or a man who says he love you but doesn’t want to commit all the way. You are well worth a man who will put you and your feeling ahead of his wants and try to understand the reasons for your choice. Celibacy is about having peace of mind, about waiting for your husband and sharing the special intimate pleasure with him, and depending on your beliefs, it is about waiting for marriage and abiding by your moral compass.
If you are in a relationship and your man gives you the blues about becoming celibate, then realize that he may not be the man for you, and if he does decide to cheat than apparently he was never yours to begin with. A real man who loves you will understand your choice and either go through the process with you and eventually put a ring on it or he will be man enough to walk away in a polite manner. If he does walk away, just know that God has a better suitor in place that will love and honor you as you are. For the single women meaningless sex will no longer serve you a kiss on the forehead when he is leaving at four -o -clock in the morning and you’re turning over to an empty bedside.
If you are happy with your sex life, single or not, then good for you, but for those women who feel celibacy is the best route to go then you should do it. Do it for the right the reasons, not as an ultimatum for your man to get his stuff together and put a ring on it. Do it because you know your worth, because you want more, because you are a road to self love and you have rearranged your standards. It’s not easy making this decision, but once you do and several months go by it will be easier to say no and/or walk away from relationships that no longer serve you or honor your choice to be celibate. One last thing, do not allow peer pleasure to guilt you into changing your mind or having that one night of freedom, remain steadfast in your decision and only give the nooky up when you are truly ready or have reached the ultimate goal – that ring!!
A’Ishah C. Braxton, MBA – The Conquering Woman!
Website – Theconqueringwoman.com
Twitter – twitter.com/AIshahCBraxton