#FancysThoughts: A Mess or a Masterpiece?

Photography by Rick Wells Photography.


The other day I noticed a post by relationship expert Chey B. asking if it was true that “The more “mature” a woman gets (the older she gets) the lower her sex drive.” I tweeted back that I thought it was false.

I’m 31 almost 32, and I think my sex drive has increased, but has no where to go. The things that once attracted me to guys, almost repulse me in some ways now. I have matured beyond vanity but I don’t want someone too uptight or conservative either. I don’t even want someone normal, unless he can be taught, and that can be an issue because you have to watch how much leeway you give me, but we can grow together. I need someone as complex as me and understands struggle, but overall good and ready for something more in life, and I now know not to look for him.

Meanwhile we live in a hyper-sexualized world, where we see sex, or I maybe it’s just me, in almost everything. I have grown to see sex as as art, but the same way we can create a masterpiece on canvas we can create a mess. I have enough mess in my past, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still want to paint.

And so I have to find other creative outlets. Meanwhile I walk past and see inspiration and muses all day. Then I have to think to myself, “they don’t deserve you. Stay busy” (you may have seen me post that online)”. And I do, or I get lost on social media.

Nevertheless all the working only makes me more sexually frustrated, and I’ve read demanding and/or stressful jobs can increase your sex drive. In my head, I’ve created enough masterpieces- in my head- to fill a nice sized museum and probably enough energy to come in and frame and place them all. Time has at least gifted me confidence in my skills, but I don’t want my art hanging in just no any old place. This ain’t for the local library (nothing against the local library). I’ve worked and gotten to know my history. This piece was painted during a rough time, and highly valued. So my work just goes unnoticed. Most don’t even know I’m an artist.

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