While I have grown to love myself enough to know that I am strong enough to endure that, and I furiously strive to prepare to live out my golden years alone and happy- and let me just say, people die every day alone so, it is what it is (it’s not negative thinking but being real about what I’m clearly witnessing), I realize it is still important as a woman to have strong male figures in my life.
Strong as in,
-They can accept me as the woman that I am, and not be intimidated, but understanding their role as a man. They understand that I’ve been hurt, so I’m not always looking at life through clean lenses. They understand that no matter how strong I appear to be, my femininity will show, and they don’t turn on me and ask what happened to the alpha female, knowing we all have our weak moments. In the words of a friend, “I see you as a queen, or as you call yourself a goddess. You may not ever get married again, but you will always have a man on your team.”‘
-They will always push me to be better. Whether it’s a better business owner, boss, mother, friend. They want me to be my best self and have no problem of reminding me of that. It was a man who pushed and elevated me to my higher conscious.
-They look out for my best interest without expecting any favors in return. They call me on my bs, but are considerate enough to be gentle while doing so, but they will do so! I will never forget within hours of making it to my place in Cali and trying to explain to a male friend, how I wasn’t going to be able to stay there because the owner (my ex’s best friend) had a in house dog, and I have a strong fear of dogs. He quickly but calmly pointed out, he would not have sent his woman across country without knowing all the conditions of the house and if we (my bf and I ) were closer, he would have known about my fear of dogs. My ex and I broke up for the last time the next morning. He said I complain too much.
-They see the value in my womanhood and understand what I bring to the world. They understand the beauty of a woman and how both genders are needed in this world, valuing my input and efforts, because they KNOW THEY WERE BIRTHED AND RAISED BY A WOMAN.
I’m sure we all like to think we can do it all by ourselves- hell for many of us, we mostly do, but I can’t deny it is often the men in my life who push me to go the hardest. Their support is unbiased, unlike the competitive vibes I often get from other women. It’s also good to have that male perspective on issues, because as I have learned from our talks, our perspectives can be very different, but that it is needed.When I look at all the people I’ve worked with since starting the magazine, you know who has been around the longest? Jarmel, our Marketing VP. 😊 He is also usually the first to check on me when I go missing.
We brag often about Black girl magic, but let’s not forget their Black boy magic as well. I am a strong woman, but I know its imperative to have strong Black men in my life, and I’m grateful for the friends I have.