RELATIONSHIPS 101: Smooth Roads and Potholes

I started out with a very good day today.  Been on this whole “I am almost 40” revamping thing (mind, body, money, etc).  This process should be easy, but I am not going to lie, obstacles happen.  The term growing pains exist for a reason.  Sometimes it can seem like when you are moving forward in life, you run into a lot of potholes. However, “sometimes smooth roads have potholes.”   You can’t always avoid them.

Like I said, this morning was off to a pretty good and productive start.  Until, I got an unexpected “NO!” I started to stew, mentally I was a little thrown off by it because it was a simple request.  The road was real smooth until that moment.  Worse yet, I knew I was stewing I couldn’t stop it.  We allow one thing to throw us off and we stayed thrown off because WE ALLOW IT!  WE ALLOW THE POTHOLE TO TURN INTO STEW! I had to “revamp” my mind because I have too much stuff to do to allow THE STEW!

If you are caught up in a stew where it seems like you are on a road filled with potholes try this:

  • Take a moment to think about the “pothole”, is it bigger than what you think?
  • Focus on the rest of the road. (Sometimes focusing on the destination will help you get past the pothole)
  • Blast a song that will get your mind right! (We should all have that go to song)
  • Work on being solution-oriented instead of problem focused.

Then immediately get back to what you needed to do.  Eventually your mind will be clear again and you can focus on the road instead of the pothole.  Life will be filled with potholes serving up stew like it is winter.  You have to decide rather you are going to allow the stew or not.

Each situation requires different distractions to get you out of the “stew” mode.  I didn’t listen to my “go to” song, instead I took a break and ate lunch.  Decompressing and taking a break works also. Find what works for you.

As far as my situation, at the end of the day, the “no” was the best thing because it forced me into thinking of alternatives to my problem.  Did it bother me?  Yes!  Am I going to let that mess up the rest of my day? No!

Peace & Love

Valencia Griffin-Wallace

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As a wife, mother, business owner, and new vegetarian, I aim to help others to grow outside their comfort zone. I'm one of those people who knows a little about a lot and want to share it. I am a straight, no holds barred type of person. I give real advice and tips using my own life as an open book of experience for others. "Anyone who has never made a mistake, has never tried anything new" -Albert Einstein