RELATIONSHIPS 101: Your Truth and The Lie


My husband and I had a conversation today about how we grew up.  It is obvious by our marriage, that neither one of us are racist.  Why?  What made the difference?

We were raised in different areas.  He was raised in Oklahoma which has its own “race” issues and I was raised in California (born in Baton Rouge).  If my parents ever felt any particular way about any race, I didn’t know.  My formative years (0 to age 8) was at schools and on a base that was a gumbo of different races.  My friends of all colors were allowed to come over and weren’t treated differently.  When I went to their homes, I wasn’t treated different either.  In fact, I never knew racism until I moved back to the south and saw division.  It was odd to me and no one was trying to change it.  People were comfortable being separated, not knowing but still disliking each other.  My husband was raised similar to me.  He grew up in a less culturally diverse environment, but still his truth is the same.  His parents didn’t foster hate and separation.

“I believe that children are our future.  Teach them well and let them lead the way.  Show them all the beauty they possess inside.  Give them a sense of pride”-Whitney Houston

Children are our future and we wonder why the future isn’t getting any better?  We are inundating them with our messed up truths.  Showing them images of hate and violence, taking away Santa Clause and stepping on the Easter bunnies neck.  Why?  Because we were raised to see difference instead of sameness.  We were told that the world didn’t like us and developed low self-esteem.  We learned that being different made us either better or worse.  We started showing it in our attitudes, things we said, and the fact that we refused to associate with other races.  We were taught an “us” versus “them” attitude before we could spell the very word.

So think about when your “truths”, ask were they changed by a lie? 

Are you helping the future or hurting it by infecting your child with your “truth”? 

No one is born to “hate” at some point in your life, it was changed.  It is up to you to change that back.  You have to consciously make an effort to be better. 

No one race has ever accomplished anything without the other.  Just like one gender can not accomplish anything without the other.

Peace & Love,

Valencia Griffin-Wallace







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As a wife, mother, business owner, and new vegetarian, I aim to help others to grow outside their comfort zone. I'm one of those people who knows a little about a lot and want to share it. I am a straight, no holds barred type of person. I give real advice and tips using my own life as an open book of experience for others. "Anyone who has never made a mistake, has never tried anything new" -Albert Einstein