When Que Johnson and I came up with the concept of Let’s Be Real we were discussing our business struggles and the state of Black women, in particular the lack of knowledge of self and our fears but also the great divide among us, jealousy and cattiness.
What started as an event to create dialogue about the many issues we as Black women silently face quickly led to the idea for a brand with a mission to uplift other women beginning with their mindset. “Let’s Be Real” the Millennial Black woman could be the shit but we keep falling short, mostly due to conflicts life throws at us, old wounds, and lack of direction from those before us.
And that’s not to say the women before us are not awesome, but they have battled the same times as us. As millennial women, we live in an age of knowledge. For those like myself, we’re constantly asking why and finding out for ourselves or being told it can’t be done only to find a work around and do it. Yes, that can lead to confusion. We begin to think, “Hey something is not right here.” Then there’s mainstream media in our face everyday telling us how we should look, how we should act, how our men should be and treat us.
And these new age Men- they aren’t the ones dealing with these broken equally confused Black men out here, steadily treating us as their opposition instead of their peace. The women before us grew up in times where the church was the answer to their problems, while we are uncovering that the church is part of the problem, and it too is filled with problems.
Our men only add to the confusion, conditioning us to think any and everything is acceptable. We were taught to be ladies, but it’s the hoes being wifed up. Yet we are shamed for discussing our sexual frustrations, but they are free to voice theirs. They want us to bring something to the table but are mad to see us a build a table and carry it on our back, because they didn’t build the damn table or they couldn’t build a table, or we bought our table or was given one so we do not know their struggle and what it’s like to work hard (so they think). Our protectors are our predators. I’m so lost.
I’m a tiger in a cage right now. Who am I to be? Why am I not where I want to be? Who can I talk to about these things? Are there others like me? Where is a safe place to discuss these issues?
Now we didn’t discuss all of this in that one conversation, but we touched a little on each area. When it came time for the event, we could not think of a name, but I noticed we had said, “let’s be real” or “just being real” so many times, because there seemed to be an exception or rebuttal to each point. In school we were taught everything was either black or white, then we grew up and realized there’s plenty of gray no one spoke of. Let’s be real.
We need to be open and discuss these issues, they are not going to go away, and we silently know many of them are holding us back, yet also being real, not everyone is open to such to such dialogue or growing, and I understand that. For the community, we are striving to create, an open mind is needed but pettiness, jealousy, and basically all of that little girl stuff that brings about negativity usually because of your own insecurities cannot exist in the same space for what we are trying to do.
Again, these are some of my thoughts. I can’t speak for Que, but I just woke up today and thought, I don’t think people fully understand that the struggle is real, and felt like writing. We’re not just building a community for businesswomen, but for women who are aspire to grow in ALL areas of life, because we are the ones to give birth to it all, while being unashamed that we too are flawed. We are still growing, as well, but we know their is power in our own self discoveries. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas however. I’m usually reachable by most social network sites unless, I am swamped with projects.
From Fancy w/ Love