My story begins during basic training,when I was sexually assaulted by a male soldier. I never knew who my attacker was, but i can describe him exactly.
He burst into my room and grabbed me and forced me down on the bed. I was terrified. He had me pinned down, and the more I squirmed the more he forced himself on me. He began to rip my uniform.
I felt helpless. So I laid there and closed my eyes. I tried to scream,and he would hit me. I was able to get my legs free and knee him straight in his manhood. I pushed him off of me and ran to where my friends were and told them what happened. He took off. I was afraid to call the police and to notify my drill sergeants, because I thought there would be repercussions.
I kept this secret up until 2015. I had nightmares over and over, waking up in a screaming, drenched of sweat. I fell into a deep depressive state. The life I was living was completely unstable…3 failed marriages and other relationships. My life spiraled out of control. I moved annually and bounced from job to job. I felt lost inside. I couldn’t trust anyone. There were days that i couldn’t get out of bed. I became a loner.
In 2015, we moved to Florida and I went to the VA hospital and made an appointment with the mental health clinic. I had to have help. I was tired of feeling like the way I was. I was diagnosed with PTSD and started counseling and medication. I started loving me again, but I still felt like I hated myself and was disgusted with myself. I entered the slink jeans model search. It helped me to overcome my insecurities. I have a wonderful support system with my husband. Now I love myself more than I ever have.
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