From the Desk of a Diva: There Won’t Be a Next One

yougblackwoman

I’ve finally taken the dive… again… but for real this time. Yes, I’ve quit my job and decided to run my businesses full time. Initially, I planned to wait until May, but my former job just was beginning to be too stressful. Their objective was to get us to quit. I hate be a quitter but I had began to feel like I couldn’t breathe without fear of some type of consequence.
It’s been a little scary, knowing I have to make money now. There’s no cushioning anywhere to fall back on, but I realized there will never be enough, at least not for a woman like me. I love nice things and being out  (now I do) too much, though I love sentimental things and simplicity just as much, but in learning myself I realize I am naturally ambitious. I’m a dreamer.
I also noticed that when I tell most people I’ve quit my job, they say something like, “Well I’m sure you will find something  else.” “Or maybe with the next one.” I have to correct them and say, “No, there won’t be anything else. There won’t be any next one.”  The worker mentality people have is funny. Perhaps I should ask them if they really think I’ve been doing all this to keep trying to run myself rugged doing both because I just love making money for someone else and abiding by their workplace rules and so on. Like really?
Lately it seems like I’ve been operating on another plane. I see now the things I need to implement for growth. I no longer see myself as the chunky girl  (looking back) with a mohawk, too afraid to ask for interviews. I recall a friend saying they never call themselves a boss because they hadn’t made it yet, and back then I totally agreed but now I see I am a boss. I am making it. I needed to give myself more credit.
With that realization, I worry less about others, and focus on what I know I need to do, and that means trusting myself understanding the reason and purpose behind my testimony, not just as a business owner but also as a woman, knowing that what I provide the world with is priceless, but if priced it’s damn sure more than an hourly wage or even yearly salary someone else is going to “give me”.
If you can’t feel the passion and excitement within me now, you aren’t about this life. No-seriously, each day I go through the same struggles as many other entrepreneurs, and the thing that keeps us going is also the same thing that separates us from so many; it’s our passion.

 -Fancy
me in yellow headshot
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