RELATIONSHIPS 101: The Alpha Male/Female Dynamic


I believe the term ALPHA gets a bad rap.  In reference to women, people will use words like “bossy” or another “b” word.  It never sounds flattering and in fact, sounds like an insult.  It isn’t an insult it is a compliment to the confidence you display as an ALPHA.  It is the way you stand and carry yourself that brings the boys to the yard, not your milkshake!

That brings me to the ALPHA male.  Who is he and what does he look like?  An ALPHA male is not a man who is running all over the place showing his muscles and throwing women over his shoulders.  No, that is not an ALPHA, that is a neanderthal!  An ALPHA male is a man who is confident in himself.  Period-confident and not cocky.  He is a leader, not a dictator!  An ALPHA male is that man who is secure and he knows what he wants.  He wants a women who can lead by his side, not behind him.

If we look at “power” couples like Jay-Z and Beyonce.  Both of them are ALPHAS.  She respects who he is (at least in public), but that doesn’t diminish her ALPHA side.  Jay-Z, knows who he is and doesn’t have to dominate her to prove that he is a strong man.

I look at my husband and I.  Both of us are ALPHAS.  We both have strong personalities, however our relationship is built on respect.  We respect each other and it shows in the strength in our relationship.  Respect is about accepting that person for who they are.

These are traits in both ALPHA male/females

  • Confident
  • Leaders
  • Protectors
  • Brave (not scared of challenges)

There are many others that you can find on the internet, but remember ignore the bad ones.

Think Leonidas from 300.  He was the leader, but he ultimately went to his wife when he wasn’t sure what to do.  She was strong, an ALPHA (think about when she stabbed the guy at the meeting).  Never seen 300?  Please watch it, it shows an ALPHA male in his element and doing his thing.  However, it shows the dynamics of an ALPHA relationship.

Think about the President and his wife.  Both are strong ALPHAS, however nothing about Mrs. Obama says she can’t handle her own.  You know not to come for her or her man.

An example of what an ALPHA might do-he may have you walk on the inside.  Why?  If a car comes swerving down the street (for instance), by you be on the inside, he will absorb the damage.  Never thought about that until my husband did that.  That confirmed that while I thought I dated ALPHAS before, now I was truly with one!

So, don’t run away from an ALPHA relationship, but don’t confuse ALPHAS with neanderthals either!

Peace & Love

Valencia Griffin-Wallace



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As a wife, mother, business owner, and new vegetarian, I aim to help others to grow outside their comfort zone. I'm one of those people who knows a little about a lot and want to share it. I am a straight, no holds barred type of person. I give real advice and tips using my own life as an open book of experience for others. "Anyone who has never made a mistake, has never tried anything new" -Albert Einstein