Hi everyone, I am Tinzley, Author of the Settle-Free Dating Method for Women and also known as ‘The Love Mama”. I help women bounce back from devastating break ups, abusive relationships and low dating confidence. I thought I’d share a few holiday tips for the singles in today’s post. As the holidays rapidly approach it can be easy to remember that you are single and unlike couples, you won’t be booed up on a cozy night Nexflixng and chilling. No, you will more than likely still be single. This is that time of year when you have to be very careful because there are some guys who will prey on the single and many times lonely women who make it known they wish they could find a good man.
I decided to put a few holiday tips together for SwagHer Magazine that will help you push through the holidays with boldness, confidence, and a settle free state of mind.
- If he’s been absent all year but suddenly calls trying to come over and chill around Christmas, then tell him NEXT! Don’t let the good looking guys who are up to no good fool you into Christmas booty calls!
- Don’t keep comparing yourself to couples wishing you could be them. You’ve heard the saying “Everything that shines isn’t always gold!” Take it from me, you will create unnecessary anxiety and depression if you spend more time worrying about being single than you do enjoying life!
- Make it a girl’s night out type of evening around the holidays. Me and my good friends already have our holiday gift exchange girls night out planned. This is a great way to enjoy time with those you love and who love you, get a nice gift and have fun times without feeling like you’re socially awkward for being single.
- Don’t you dare call that ex looking for a pity visit! I see this way too much! You break up and then when the holidays come you begin to look through your phone for anybody you can call to try and re-kindle old sparks in an effort to not be alone on the holidays. I get it; it’s lonely out here as a single but why did you and this guy break up in the first place? Are you sure you want to spend your fun holidays bickering with an old fling who no longer wants you? Let’s not bring our new year in going backwards sweetie!
- If you’re in a relationship, make sure you are both participating in a gift exchange so it won’t be one sided. Nothing hurts worse than taking the time to get a gift for the one you love, and they haven’t even thought to get you a gift. If it’s not something you normally do, then don’t be upset if you give but don’t receive. It’s supposed to be happy holidays not miserable, angry holidays! Be wise!
- Plan time with your family. If you’re single and you have your own place, plan to have the Thanksgiving or Christmas celebration at your place by inviting family over. You could even do it potluck style. I can also suggest you let your fine male cousins know that they are welcome to invite a few of their single friends. You never know what can happen right?
- Don’t be afraid to ask someone if you can come over and enjoy the holidays at their place. Many times people often assume you are already going to be engaged in events so they may not think to invite you but would have had they known? If you don’t want to be alone then it doesn’t hurt to ask right?
- Don’t get overwhelmed with Black Friday and shopping. Let me share one of the most fulfilling holidays both Thanksgiving and Christmas I had was giving back. That’s right, go volunteer your time to those in need. Instead of “Netflix and Chill! How about serving a meal? This will keep you occupied and you will be so happy seeing the smile on their faces that being single will be the least of your worries.
Let’s not forget what the holidays are all about. It’s so much bigger than just us. There is so much more to be done than to sit around fretting the fact that you’re single on the holidays. When you are living a settle free life like me, you don’t allow just any old behavior in your life; no, you only accept the very best so maybe you’re single because the best is yet to come! I want you to know that you deserve the very best so right now maybe it just isn’t your time so make sure you don’t get too caught up in the single on Christmas blues! Get up and enjoy life right now as you are! #SettleFree
Tinzley Bradford was born in Atlanta, Georgia. She’s a single mom who knows all about single parenting while dating. For years through her dating blog, “And You Wanna See My Feet” and her tell-it-like-it-is YouTube videos, she has helped single moms and single women get their love lives together. The advice maven and relationship coach has also been seen giving single mom dating advice on “Dr. Drew’s on Call” TV show on HLN, The Single in Stilettos Show with Match Maker and Dating Coach Suzanne Oshima and her local media 11 Alive News in Atl and has been featured in a slew of articles such as Mommy Noire interviewed by Top Relationship Coach Abiola Abrams, Single in Atl.com, Thoughtful Minds United and a ton of other blog post appearances. Tinzley is known for her no nonsense advice for single women and strongly believes refusing to settle for any old treatment is the key to living a settle-free life and not tolerating any behavior that is not healthy for you.
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