Love life: Ashley who cheating?

cheatingThat picture caught your attention didn’t it?

This whole Ashley Madison thing got everyone up in arms and side eyeing their partners.  “Oh girl, lemme find out.”  Right?  Since the story broke that hackers have released subscribers email addresses, I am sure fingers have been busy.

All you have to do is look at FB and you can see men/women dogging each other about cheating or THOTing.  “He/She will never find someone as good as me.”  We all have heard that one.

However, let’s play a game.  “You can’t turn a _____ into a housewife.” Let’s play another game.  “If you look for something, you will _______ .”  I bet you finished both of those sentences.  Between one of my favorite shows Maury and Cheaters, it was always entertaining to watch cheaters get caught.  You know when the girl sitting on the couch and says “I found a girl underwear in our bedroom, but I just need to know was he cheating.”  We hear that and think “really?”  Watching those shows like that will have you looking at your partner crazy and threatening “you better not ever!”

Do you think someone can cheat so good the other person has no clue?  Maybe, but I don’t really think so.  Both men and women have concrete behaviors and when that behavior changes, then you question it.  Don’t play inch high private eye.  Direct your question with what you want to know.  Don’t run yourself crazy analyzing what may or may not be going on.  We all get insecure sometimes and our thoughts will have us questioning our relationship.

My questions is what are you going to do about it?  Personally, I have a zero tolerance policy, but I know plenty of people who have stayed with a cheater.  If your man/woman is cheating ask yourself these questions:

Did they use protection? What if I get a disease? What if there is a pregnancy?  What is this going to do to my self esteem?  Is it worth it?  Will it happen again? Most importantly, am I willing to walk away?

It’s not all physical though.  Emotional cheating is really a thing.  If you have that one person who you talk to that makes you feel mushy on the inside (and it is not your partner), guess what?  You are a cheater or on your way to it!

Golden rule: If you wouldn’t do it in front of your partner, don’t do it.

At the end of the day, if someone wants to cheat, they will!  There is no concrete stamp on a cheater/non cheater.

It’s never too late to rekindle a flame as long as there is still wax.  Remember when your partner gave you that mushy feeling?  Recreate that.  Recreate those moments when you guys couldn’t get enough of each other.  Don’t think–well they don’t do this or that.  What is it you stopped doing?

If you are doing your part (100%) and they cheat, remember that is a mental defect or insecurity in them, not you.  Maybe it is time to move on.

P.S. “What goes on in the dark, will come to the _____.”

 

Peace and Love

Valencia Griffin-Wallace

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As a wife, mother, business owner, and new vegetarian, I aim to help others to grow outside their comfort zone. I'm one of those people who knows a little about a lot and want to share it. I am a straight, no holds barred type of person. I give real advice and tips using my own life as an open book of experience for others. "Anyone who has never made a mistake, has never tried anything new" -Albert Einstein