What defines a successful man?



As women become more successful especially with the higher ratio of black women attending college than black men it can be hard to find a compatible partner. Recently a friend told me, “One day I feel like because of my education, I will be out of a black men’s league.” My response to her was, “What defines a successful man?” We’ve all seen the intelligent, sophisticated, and eminent black woman portrayed in shows like Girlfriends, Being Mary Jane, and Scandal but where is her prince charming? In today’s society black males in colleges are scarce. According to the U.S. Department of Education the national graduation rate at the collegic level for black males is 33.1 percent compared with the 44.8 percent for black women.

As a current student at an all girls historically black college, whenever my girlfriends and I have discussed our futures it has always involved finding a partner that is as equally successful as us. But why does it seem that most of the black women on television that have achieved a successful career, also suffer from inadequate personal relationships. At some point many of these women on the shows breakdown and ask themselves: is it impossible or am I asking for too much?

In 2015, where many women are establishing themselves career wise and focusing on their own success I feel like in order to find a compatible partner we have to reassess what matters the most to us. While writing this blog post, I decided to answer my own question. My immediate answer was someone that was successful in his field, well off, loving, and one that made me happy. I realize that many of the prerequisites I had in addition to this were material stuff. Now I realize a successful and compatible man to me is someone that lives a balance and honest life, and does his best to make me happy. Does that mean he has to have an education, and is he a bum if he doesn’t? I don’t think so. I think that our society puts a huge emphasis on material things and less on life experience and things that make you happy. You don’t necessarily have to be equals in your field to have a great relationship. In the end it is all about finding someone that compliments and brings out the best in you.

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