It’s a common tale, you’ve heard it from a friend or you have told a friend. There you are content in your relationship. You think everything is fine. Then out of nowhere, a distance grows between the once happy couple. They never have time for you. The phone calls become less frequent and of short duration. You keep asking them if everything is okay between you two. They say everything is fine and they’re just “doing them” (I’m not a big fan of that ambiguous and suspicious statement). Now you feel like you are in a state of limbo. You feel your relationship is circling the drain and you have no idea how to fix the problem. Truth is, you cannot fix a problem when the other half is so busy “doing them” they cannot take time to communicate.
Then it happens. A friend or family members stumbles onto their Snapchat. This is strange to you. You are on their Twitter, Instagram, Face Time, and Facebook. You even have some of the passwords. So where did this new account come from? It turns out they have another life. They have friends you don’t know about, pictures you have never seen, and thoughts and feelings you all have never discussed.
In the scenario, I never said that the person was cheating. That may not even be the case. This is just them “doing them”. But the situation may not be this covert. It may be a case of they are on their various social media pages more than the two of you talk. It seems like their internet friends know more about how they are feeling than you. It seems like in order to find out what is wrong with your significant other, you have to check their Facebook because when you ask them what’s wrong they keep telling you “nothing”.
Don’t get me wrong, I am on social media too. I get the alerts on Twitter and go on Facebook rants about the customer service at McDonald’s. But, when it comes to personal pain or triumphs, these are shared with my husband above all others. The first person that should know my nearest concerns are my spouse, not the internet (I’m not one for airing my nearest concerns on social media anyway).
By no means have I perfected being transparent in my relationship; I can be a jumbled mess of unexpressed emotion. But, I am not overly transparent on the internet either. Nor, will I have some secret social media account to worry about. If you cannot communicate openly in your relationship, then why stay in a world of deception and secrets? Why can we share our breakfast on social media, but can’t share our feelings of frustration, boredom, or loneliness with someone we love? Imagine how much better a relationship can be if we were as open in it as we are on social media.
Twitter: @angiemango Instagram: peeledamango