Dear CRF, Is It Possible To Go From Friends With Benefits to a Relationship


Dear CRF, “I been talking to this guy since August. At that time he just got out of a relationship, knew I wanted one but he wasn’t ready. We still talked and got together several times but then I ended it since I wanted more than he was willing to give which was not much.

We get along really well and I do really like him. When I ended it, he turned around a month later saying he had himself together and says he is ready now but wants to take things slow. He does act different by texting me, showing up, spending the night, coming over too. But here’s the question, should I believe he wants more or he just full of shit because he still wants to see me on a level but not the level I want? Or should I just give it time? Or should I just tell him to kick rocks? Head is spinning……… Help!

Can a relationship go from friends with benefits to a relationship smoothly?”

Can a friends with benefits situation turn into a serious, monogamous relationship? Yes. But let’s be clear is that really what you have here? You say you ended it because you want a relationship but he’s come back saying he is ready. Your question should be ready for what. From what you’re telling me he’s increased your benefits but hasn’t made the relationship official. Sounds like you’re still not getting what it is you want from him. Only way to find out if he’s full of shit, as you say, is to have the relationship discussion with him. If he’s still not ready, then you need to be ready to either accept that you’re just a fwb or move on and allow a man who thinks you’re relationship material to enter your life. In the end, he is able to slow his roll because you haven’t demanded more with your actions. You’re saying you want a relationship but you are allowing this to be a situationship. Ball is in your court. What are you going to do?

~Dena Reid, Esq., Founder of Code Red Flag

About Dena Reid, Esq.

dena1Founder and President of Code Red Flag, Dena Reid Esq. is a legally trained Conflict Mediator, Best Selling Author, and Motivational Speaker.

Ms. Reid’s mediation practice specializes in family and domestic disputes. She holds a Bachelors of Science from Cornell University as well as a Juris Doctorate from Georgetown University Law Center. Additionally, Ms. Reid holds numerous certifications in mediation and arbitration from the Scheinman Institute on Conflict Resolution. Ms. Reid has also worked as Commissioner of Mediation for the Federal Mediation & Conciliation Service. She uses her trainings and experience to help families and couples deal with conflict in a productive and mutually beneficial manner.

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