From the Desk of a Diva: Our Brothers Need Support Too



      black-woman-scoldingAs a business owner, you don’t want to talk about support all the time, but it is such an important matter. We need it financially, we need it mentally, and we need it emotionally. As a female entrepreneur, I always thought it was harder on us women, but lately I have noticed a trend amongst many of my male entrepreneur friends. More and more often, I hear them express lack of support from their spouses. 

     Each time, it seems like news to me, because here are men, working hard to provide for their families on their own terms but in a positive manner and doing a good job of it. I do not know why, but hearing this always makes me ask what does their spouse do. I usually have to keep a straight face when I hear their response, because most times, their reply is they do not work. This is a little hard for me to grasp. I do not know if it is because I have always had to work, try to operate my own business, and put myself through school, while raising children simultaneously or the fact that I am just always wanting to help others improve their business or what, but I have a hard time registering it. Usually they will go on to share some story or example, and I will continue to sit there in disbelief. 

     Now some may be offended by this next statement, but I have to wonder, if this is why we are losing our Black men. Do we really have their backs like we say we do? Do we really value them like we were posting last week? 

     I just don’t understand how as a Queen, you would not want to take part in this major aspect of his life, both your lives. You are making it off the sweat of his back, but you cannot partake in the building of a legacy. Yet, I see women of other races riding around in their husband’s company truck or handling the day to day basics. They may not be able to explain a process or know a single tool, but they are the pitching in. Often times, they may know all the ins and outs of the business, not a dollar crosses the table that they do not know about.

      Meanwhile, many of us are at home waiting with our hands out, never bothering to ask how their day went, how is business going, did they close a deal-nothing! It is growing more common for me to hear that the woman of the house not only lacks interest, but she is often the main voice of doubt, forever calling to “get your head out the clouds!” 

      Having someone there to support your dreams and ambitions and pick you up when life or “it’s just business” happens, is so valuable.  For years I dated a carpenter, and many times, I saw him get passed over for jobs he had the knowledge and skill set for simply because he was Black or  because his knowledge intimidated his potential client. Support is what gives us (all entrepreneurs) the will to go on. It’s like using the 93 octane instead of the 87. So ladies are you this sister? If so, remember a queen not only tends to the palace, but she also concerns herself with matters of the kingdom as well.


@FancySwagHer  tweet me your thoughts or comments.

Francheska "Fancy" Felder FancySwagHer FancytheGogetta

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